SW Man Issue #2 – AloeTUFF

Last time we left off SW Man had infiltrated the port warehouse that the unnamed organization had taken over. Through the use of the VIOLEnT Blue gloves, he was able to dispatch the henchmen and thugs in the facility. SW Man was quite impressed with his handy work, but that was short lived, as a giant of a man came out of the shadows just to ruin SW Man’s day. The large grin on his face only proved to SW Man that this man enjoyed hurting people and clearly this man did not want to give him a back rub.

“Aren’t you an ugly one?” cracked SW Man with his mocking inflection. “That is definitely not a face even a mother could love.” SW Man kept the taunts flying as he thought over his inventory of SW gloves that he could possibly use to rid himself of this goliath standing before him.

The large man kept slowly walking towards our hero seeming to enjoy the build up to the confrontation, less so on the insults being thrown his direction. “Man, the closer you get to me the more pungent your stench becomes. Do you live in a dumpster, or a barn, or something?” Have you ever heard of a bath, or are you too big to fit in one? You could always jump in the ocean!” SW Man’s brain continued to process his mental database of gloves as the quips spilled from his mouth. He needed something tough to conquer this opponent. Then it struck him…the AloeTUFF glovesAloe TUFF

“Little man I am going to crush your head like a … um…like a head in my hands” grumbled the humongous creature. “Are those gloves on your head so I know where to squeeze?”

“Wow, you certainly are a wordsmith. Good to know that you are dumber than you look, and believe me, that is really saying something!” SW Man’s hands wiggled into his trusty utility belt and yanked out a pair of the AloeTUFF gloves. He pulled on the high visibility green gloves with a snap and immediately he felt the comfort of the aloe-coated, cotton flock-lining, and the surge of TUFFness overcome his body (Yeah, I said TUFFness! You know it’s extra tough when you spell it that way).

Aloe TUFFThe greens of SW Man’s costume illuminated to match the high-viz green of the AloeTUFF gloves, and the behemoth squinted to adjust to the extra brightness radiating off his adversary. “Good, now I can see you better to bash you!” The large man reached for a support beam from a broken shelf that one of his cohorts flew through not long past. The brute tapped the 40 pound beam against his hand as if it were a child’s baseball bat.

“You sound like the big bad wolf in Little Red Riding Hood!” SW Man sprang to action. In a blur of green glow, he darted away from the first swing of the giant’s makeshift club. It was evident that the mountain of a man was interested in stopping SW Man’s mouth from berating him any longer. “Clearly you aren’t the brains of this operation, so who do you work for ogre?!” Another swing, and SW Man rolled away. The beam had left a hole in the cement where he previously stood. Better the ground then my head thought the hero.

“You can find out after I smash you!” bellowed the man.

“I am not sure I understand the logic in that. It wouldn’t do me any good to find out after I have been smashed, because then I can’t save the world, and that is kind of my thing. Plus, I like being not smashed. I have grown to enjoy this state of being. So I have decided to pass on your offer. Now if you could kindly just tell me who I need to go after once I have vanquished you, that would be much appreciated.” The freak of nature seemed perplexed by the word vanquished, and assumed he was just being insulted once again. He began a torrent of swings aimed to remove the head from the body of the icon of goodness. SW Man realized that he was not going to learn anything from this man, so he better find a way to stop him.

SW Man leapt to the side of a nearby structural pillar and climbed up like a monkey. This allowed for a better avenue to scan the warehouse for an advantage. In the distance he saw a large, black SUV being staged for loading into a shipping container and that was his target. SW Man vaults to a crate in the direction of the SUV. His timing couldn’t have been any better, as the instant he departed, the giant crashed his metal beam through the concrete pillar bringing it, and pieces of the ceiling, to the ground. SW Man took this opportunity to fly through the air at the giant and land a devastating right hand to the jaw of his massive head. A normal human being would have been incapacitated by the TUFFness of this punch, but not this man. The giant wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth and let out a laugh that shook the rafters.

“Stand still little flea man!” screamed the leviathan. SW Man knew the timer was running out on this battle and he needed to end it soon. He couldn’t dodge forever, and the SUV was going to be the answer. He grabbed the bumper and lifted the vehicle into the air, feeling his muscles straining, but the TUFFness of the gloves allowed this inhuman feat. He heaved the car into the air and it slammed into the giant with great force, and a loud crash, propelling the giant and the vehicle to crash into the warehouse shelving and bringing the whole structure down on him in a burial cairn of commercial goods. There was no movement from the pile and SW Man knew that the AloeTuff gloves had worked their magic. Now he could notify the police and they could come in and clean up the mess.

Once again our hero has saved the day, but who is this dastardly organization bent on causing chaos in his world and when will they strike next? Whenever they try next SW Man will be there, with gloves at the ready, to thwart their villainous schemes. SW Gloves saving the world one pair at a time!!!

Disclaimer:  This story is for entertainment purposes.  In no way will SW Brand Gloves give you super powers, but after you use them you may feel as though they do.

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